There are plenty of stigmas attached socially to raising a child in a single parent family. These assumptions often cause unnecessary anxiety for these brave parents. In addition, the media falls short of doing its part in the process, however there are always two sides to a coin.
One of many examples can be seen in the case of divorce, where advantages of being a single parent – for the children in particular – is that the conflict in the home would have eased. Clearing the air makes for a healthier psychological and emotional atmosphere. Contrary to what the media may tell us, this is one of many examples of the advantages of single parenthood. Another is that children will be able to see a different model of relationship interaction to mirror in their future dealings. Not to mention the fact that the parent’s energy, formally dedicated to conflict, is now redirected to the child.
Life is indeed no picnic, but the sooner children learn this, the sooner they will be able to cope with their own life challenges. One of the many advantages of single parenthood thus includes the life lessons for children. The ability to learn these hard, inevitable lessons early in childhood development will better inform their relationship choices, and equip them with invaluable knowledge.
Healing your Relationship With The Self
Naturally, with today’s economic pressures, the challenges of being a single parent quickly pile up. Statistics reveal that adopting techniques and time management skills can assist to transform potential disadvantages into advantages. One can feel isolated, but you are not alone and as time passes, like with practice – the longer you do it the more you will master it. Along the way you will quickly learn the advantages of single parenthood.
Oftentimes advice for single parents neglects the importance of self-acceptance. In other words fostering a focus on what ‘is’ – not what’s ‘not’. Write a list outlining your courage and bravery to gain a better perspective of your situation, limits and restraints. In doing so, you will be healing your relationship with yourself. Thus, as Eastern teachings quote; ‘As within, so without.’
Further advantages of single parenthood include learning new perspectives in life and opportunities to add to your resilience and self-esteem. This, in turn, is what you will mirror to your children leading by example. Bear in mind that how you cope with your challenges, will in turn equip them to face their futures with the same acceptance of limitations. Before rushing to replace the parent that is no longer present – or being afraid you will repeat the cycle, first realise that you do not need anyone to validate your values. When you view life from this angle, you will be able to gain perspectives on many additional positive advantages of single parenthood to which you may have been ‘blinded’ beforehand.
Many people are very happy to just be single and are comfortable with the fact that when a new relationship comes along, they will be ready – whether it be 2 months or 20 years down the line. Once you have assimilated the guilt and made sense of emotions that suggest it is somehow your fault, you will look back in a few years and realise its the best thing that could have happened to you – and that its just as well you freed yourself from the cycles involved. In the event that you were widowed, there are advantages of single parenthood, which you will discover and learn that you never dreamed of, as well as many experts support to assist you with perspective and grief.
Independence in Children and Single Parenting Homes
Society is still under the impression that it is the norm to be a couples-based world. Prejudice arises subconsciously, instead of in support of and with respect to single parents as is due. For whatever you do, don’t let these fears find their way into your parenting skills. Stay confident and you will be guided in your parenting techniques to understand where best to show your love, care and nurturing through consistency and discipline.
Now that children who have single parents through divorce can visit two homes, it may be a good experience to be able to integrate two separate approaches to life, and gain a broader view of the world. If the parents remarry, advantages of single parenthood will turn into extended family and additional caring adult support. This exposure could be the very aspect that guides them to new ways of thinking and may even ignite career passions.
Single-parent family children develop quicker and become more independent sooner than their friends become. With more chores than one person can handle, the child will often need to take over roles they would play as they grow earlier. This allows them to feel more responsible, fostering a sense of pride and self-esteem. Such experiences carry into later life, assisting them one day when they too become parents. On the lighter side, other advantages of single parenthood include children receiving two sets of birthday, Christmas and Easter gifts which is always fun for little ones.
5 Advantages of Single Parenthood
Jennifer Broadley, a single mother, writes from experience when she shares her thoughts on the advantages of single parenting. She highlights 5 points to consider along the way;
- Model a “Can Do” mindset for the children: Routines foster responsibility and ability, decision-making earns respect and inspiration.
- Raise the living standard: A salary can assist in broader choices and options, which in turn affect healthy lifestyle when it comes to food, education and opportunities that arise from these.
- Developing resourcefulness: Advantages of single parenthood show the children how one person can coordinate schools, clothing, feeding, childcare and self care on a daily basis.
- Skills for work ; Require the same, showing the children that if your mindset is right you can accomplish anything regardless of the circumstances.
- Increasing your independence: By controlling the income of the household and knowing that you can achieve this through your own skills and talents.
Single Parenting Advantages and Strengths
Aside the same mainstream psychology book insinuations about the effects if single parenting on children, it is good to bear in mind a macro perspective when showing the advantages of single parenthood. In 2006, approximately 8.6 million households in the United States consisted of single parents. This showed a 46% increase as of 1980. In 1990, 61% of children spent some or all of their formative years in a single-parent household, 88% of which are headed by mothers.
This supplies the context for children to learn social behaviours early in life at day care while their parents work. Their sense of competition assists them to develop according to the children they spend time with in fact, research conducted in 2006 by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development suggests that kids who go to a quality day care, performed better on intellectual tests than those in a less structured type of care.
Approximately 21% of children under the age of six stay with grandparents or other relatives during the day, while their parent is working or at school. As discussed earlier, at certain ages in adolescence, leaving the children alone fosters responsibility and independence. Another of the advantages of single parenthood includes that there are no longer necessarily arguments of a conflict in parenting styles. This also means there is no conflict and inconsistency in one parent agreeing to something the other does not.
For single parent college students, governments and schools have financial help programs which in turn generate more opportunities once the degree is attained. When the child sees the parent going back for academic training, it fosters an attitude of self-sufficiency. In this context, advantages of single parenthood include children raised to understand that when it comes to money they need to work hard to earn it, and as a result may ask a neighbour to mow the lawn or ignite other entrepreneurial tendencies at an early age. Thereby differentiating between needs and wants and assisting to place consumerism in its correct category of perception.
Reading resources for single parents
Below is a list of books by several great authors you can read to assist you in understanding the numerous advantages of single parenthood;
- Diane Levy:
- They Look So Lovely When They’re Asleep
- Of Course I Love You… Now Go To Your Room!
- Penny Attiwill
- Mummy doesn’t do it like that
- Grandpa gave us chocolate at bedtime
- Steve Biddulph
- Raising Boys – Why Boys Are Different
- The Complete Secrets of Happy Children : A Guide for Parents
- Gina Ford
- The New Contented Little Baby Book
- Gina Ford – Potty Training in One Week
- Magda Gerber
- Your Self-Confident Baby
- Caring for Infants with Respect
- Ian Grant
- Fathers Who Dare Win
- Growing Great Boys
Additional authors who write on understanding how to look for and foster the advantages of single parenthood for all ages include;
- Rahima Baldwin Dancy – You Are Your Child’s First Teacher
- Shirley Calvert – Lousing About
- Lawrence J Cohen – Playful Parenting
- Babette Cole – Mommy Laid an Egg
- Joanna Cole – Asking About Sex and Growing Up
- Glenn Compain – Streetwise Parenting
- Kaz Cooke – Up the Duff
- Kaz Cooke – Kid Wrangling
- Eva Maria – You Shut Up
- Gary Ezzo / Robert Buckham – On Becoming Babywise