Single Parenting and Maternal Relations

In considering how single parenting and maternal relations interplay we need to look at child parent relations in general. All children react differently to certain situations. In order to be effective parents, these triggers must be paid attention to.

At the heart of single parenting and maternal relations is the parent child relationship between mother and child. As mothers we want nothing more than for our children to be happy and healthy.

Sometimes that is overshadowed by our stresses and our children's stresses. There are times when our beloved children make us want to rip our hair out.

So how do we make sure that we stay in control and remain effective parents even when our maternal instincts tell us to give the screaming child anything he wants, just so that he will be happy? Toddlers are easy to deal with.

Once you understand that their whole world is about the whole world, testing boundaries, and self assertion the battle is won so to speak. Toddlers are easily placated, especially if you can get them to think what you want them to do is really their idea.

Teenagers on the other hand are more difficult. Their world is about getting ready to break away from the immediate family unit and to fly with their own wings. The constant testing of boundaries and power struggles have to happen.

This is how the teenager is programmed. If they did not do this, they would never be able to become independent from us. Painful as it is, eventually our children will leave the nest and start their own lives.

Teenager and parent relations can be tough. This is especially true for mothers and teenagers. The maternal instinct is to keep them safe under your wing. Teenage instincts however, is to break away, like a fledgling learning to fly.

This is exactly what they are doing, learning to do on their own without your constant input. So how can we mix single parenting and maternal relations and teenagers without everyone losing their sanity? The answer: keep your cool.

We love our children. Mothers as well as fathers love their children. You have to remain cool and calm when dealing with your teenager and the battles can be fairly intense. If you lose your temper, you have lost control of the situation.

So when they come home late, and you are so relieved that they are not dead or harmed in anyway, do not let your stress take over and have the yelling start. Instead, calmly ask them why they are late.

Teenagers do not grasp the concept that cars need gas. They think they can go forever on an 1/8 of a tank. If their lateness is valid, then let it go. If it was not warranted, then there has to be consequences.

Your maternal instincts of helping them grow into responsible adults should be at play here. You want them to be responsible for their actions. Then call them on it when they are not.

Single parenting and maternal relations are all a single mother needs in order to be an effective parent. By setting limits and teaching responsibility we will raise our kids to become awesome adults.

References:
http://www.single-parentingfamilies.com

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