Single Parenting and Resiliency in Children
Single parenting and resiliency in children can be seen by observing any child who has a good single parent. It has very little to do with the marital status of the parent and everything to do with the child rearing skills of the parent.
Children are extremely observant individuals. It does not matter if they are a boisterous child who plays hard and loud or if your child is quiet and shy by nature.
Even when it does not look like they are paying attention to us, they are. Children watch every move we make and every action we take. This is how they learn about becoming an adult.
Every child reacts differently and we must adjust our parenting to conform with a childs personality. If your child is easily intimidated then towering over them when talking to them will be ineffective.
No matter how your child effects parenting, single parents have the obligation to be both mother and father to their child. If a child observes a parent unable to handle stressful situations they will learn to do the same.
A parent who cannot handle life's challenges is teaching those same deficiencies to their children. Likewise a single parent who is able to handle all of life's challenges without skipping a beat also is teaching their children.
In order to have resilient children, those who can overcome difficult situations with grace, a single parent needs to first exhibit those behaviors. Children learn what they live and if you freak out over every little thing, so will they.
A strong parent, one who shows them that if take control of your situation and manage it then everything will work itself out. Usually, these are the single parents with plans.
They have planned for life's emergencies financially and therefore the emotional stress is greatly relieved. This is how we raise resilient children. We need to teach them stress management skills and also how to manage money.
When they learn to plan for the future, save for a rainy day, then what is an emergency many times just becomes an inconvenience. Basically resilient single parents have resilient children. It is not genetic, it is learned behavior.
We as parents need to realize that we have to help our children where they are the most vulnerable in order for them to become resilient.
If they learn that help is there when they really need it and that you as the single parent will be there for them, it makes the world a lot less scary.
From a baby learning to roll over, to a toddler learning to control their temper, to the adolescent and teenager and young adult, there are times in their lives when our children will need our support and understanding.
The teenager who suffers the break up of their first relationship is truly in pain. A single parent cannot brush this off as you will get over it, it was just "puppy love".
Your child needs to know that you understand what they are feeling and that you acknowledge these feelings as valid. Once you do that, they will know that they can count on you thus enabling them to realize that although this hurts, life goes on.
Single parenting and resiliency in children: it's all about the parenting. Well adjust parents who exhibit good parenting skills will raise resilient children.
References:
http://www.single-parentingfamilies.com
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